Get Back To Tag

The Real Rules

dating dos and dont's

O Glorious Day! You've finally got a date. Whether you bribed someone, used extortion, were set up by a friend, answered a personal ad in TAG magazine, or wimped out and actually asked someone to go out with you, you want to impress this person with your well-honed dating skills.

While there are few hard-and-fast rules concerning proper human conduct, especially in the romantic arena, certain things are considered good general behavior for both men and women.
DO be on time for your date. It looks thoughtful,regardless of whether you're actually thoughtful.
DON'T go into a big song-and-dance if you are late, simply explain how you had to help the FBI with some problems they've been having and you were delayed while some operator was checking your "top-secret security clearance." This will make you look cool, important and mysterious. Either that or just pretend that your date is crazy ("Sorry, but I'm sure we said eight, not seven-thirty...."). 
DO flatter and, if you feel up to it, bring a single flower. It's a cool thing to do and everyone loves getting a little flower. Just try to make sure it's not wilted or anything. Don't just pick some sprig off the nearest bush. Shell out a buck or two and get one from a florist. 
DON'T eat beans, cabbage or prunes before your big date. Who wants to worry about flatulence? And if you do have a problem with gas, well, pretend it's someone else. If you're alone, ask your date if he/she is feeling well. 
DO practice good hygiene. Brush your teeth beforehand. Bad breath and yellowed, plaque-laden teeth are not the keys to anyone's heart. Make sure you've showered, as well. All that stuff you've read about pheromones and natural aphrodisiacs is pure bunk. Clean is in. 
DON'T plan on things to say ahead of time. Let "providence put the words in your mouth," as the saying goes. Pre-planned witticisms or incisive thoughts NEVER work out the way you plan them. 
DO be yourself. It's the easiest thing to do and, ultimately, the most appealing. Let's face it: your date bound to find out eventually. Besides, being someone else is such hard work and if that person doesn't like you for who you are, they're not worth the time of day. 
DON'T talk about your ex's, your last breakup, your last love affair, your first love affair, or any others, for that matter. THIS CANNOT BE OVER-EMPHASIZED. No one wants to hear about this stuff. Your date wants to feel special, not like a human bandage that's simply there to patch up the bleeding scabs on your heart. Also, don't mention sexually transmitted diseases or talk about how your genital warts or herpes have been under control lately. There's a time and a place for this stuff, but not on a first date. 
DO listen to them. Nothing shows respect, care, or interest so much as being a good listener. Even if you're counting the flowers on the wallpaper pattern and not hearing a word your date is saying, just keep nodding occasionally and saying "wow" and "really?" 
DON'T excuse yourself to "make a phone call" if it's going badly, then ditch them for good. They can often trace you and, besides, it's bad karma. 
DO use a condom if you get lucky, but don't let it fall out of your pocket ahead of time, during dinner, for instance. This could make things a bit awkward. 
DON'T try to kiss your date good night if you don't get lucky. Simply shake hands, maybe pinch their butt, and tell them you had a great time. If it was cool you can always ask them out again. If it was horrible, at least you made it out with your life.

Paul Vee


Got any additional rules to add?

Name:

Email:

Comments:


Other People's Thoughts

By: Annie
Men, SHAVE! There is nothing worse than having to kiss a guy with a face like sandpaper.
By: 
By: Tinman
Women: SHAVE! It's no turn-on seeing ankle hairs wave in the breeze.
By: James
Or at least wear some pants. I've been on the subway and up walks a cute girl with a dress on and legs up to her neck. Upon second glance, I can see all of the strands under the pantyhose. Bleach

Then again, this whole shaving of the legs thing is societal programming, so maybe none of us should shave

By: Jade
You should stay in that person's same interest. Don't talk stuff that your date doesn't like... or disgusting stuff like barfing, sex, etc.
By: pegboy
Screw having your legs, its all put in your head by the media...guys can have hairy armpits and legs, but women(who are born with hair too!) are not 'allowed' 
..i can see men shaving, cause i would imagine it would be irritable to be all scratched up.. 
BUT, I'd say, don't drown yourself in cologne/perfume...it sinks and make my nose run, which isn't very pretty..
gosh I'm bored...:)
By: Paul
Shave EVERYTHING, then get sweaty, real sweaty, then start to lick...
By: Fahkier
DONT DONT DONT use cologne as a substitute for a good old-fashioned SHOWER, for god's sake. Your stink will come through no matter HOW much cologne you use. Oh yeah, and if your shoes reek? Cologne won't cover that up either. 
One word: BATHE.
By: gu
Don't puke on me, i hate that.
By: adj
there are moments to ASK for a kiss and moments to just kiss. if you are looking into each others eyes for a pregnant pause, ask because it's romantic. if you're walking along fifth avenue after dinner and a cocktail at morgans and flirting has been reciprocal, gently snag the other's elbow, whip them around and plant one in front of god and everybody!
By: alex
If we make it back to my place, don't "take a dump" in my bathroom. 
By: 
Always be the one to drive your own car, so you don't get stranded, and so you can make a getaway if necessary!
By: Shannon
DO end gracefully. Thank them, tell them you had a great time, and if you're the guy, don't say, "I'll call you" unless you mean it. If you're the girl, don't commit to the next date unless you're positive you want to go out again.
By: anna singleton
don't go on a double date with your best friend who is very goodlooking, or else your YOUR date may like HER !
By: wish Moriarty
Women, Shave your legs it looks really bad when you wear short or dresses!!!!
By: parvesh
cbcbwc
By: houseofjenny
Guys, get a good idea of what the night's going to be like before you get dressed. If we think you're gonna come over all shabby-chic looking, we'll tend towards the shabby ourselves, when in reality we could be dying to wiggle into something hotter. To be honest, the real reason I would tend to dress down for a date is that I'm worried that the guy would show up looking schlumpy (not that I date schlumpy guys, but you know how the "less is more" can apply to the nervous guy). Most girls worry that they'll look too sexy, when what they might really want is to get to know someone. My worry is that I'll way outdress the guy.
By: sparky
When you make a date, CALL if you need to cancel!
By: Lady Splice
Don't stare at a woman's breasts! No matter how large, how beautiful, how perfect, do NOT stare! It's so awkward!
By: Jerry
Guys NEVER experiment with NEW anti-perspirant on a first date!!! I had to stop and buy a shirt and some deodorant on the way to meet someone !!!!!HAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Mail Article to a Friend
Do you like this article? Think your friends would like to see it? Fill out the form below to send a copy to your friends.
Your Email: 
Recipient's Email:
Message:
-

 
 




Get Back to Tag