| 1. Be open to situations in your everyday life. The girl at the coffee shop, the woman behind the bar, the clerk at Barnes & Noble carrying the armload of books. |
open your mouth, and say something totally inappropriate
|
2. Go to a laundromat and do your laundry. A friend of mine swears by this; he has had sex with women he's met at the laundromat. Think about it: you're both sharing an experience; she can see you're a decent guy (i.e.: you're washing your underwear), and you're both stuck there for a while together. If you can't kindle a conversation or get a phone number out of the experience, you can always say, on your way out, "It was lovely watching you fold your underwear." She'll think you're really cool and you're sure to score the next time you see her.
3. Create a fictitious female identity on an on-line service. Give yourself a really hot profile, go after a bisexual woman, and arrange a date. When you meet up and she sees that you're a guy, just say "Surprise!" and see what happens....
4. Say "Hi" to the first ten women you see alone, no matter where you see them, NO EXCEPTIONS. You'll probably be ignored, but remember this: Babe Ruth led the league in strike outs as well as in home runs.
Babe Ruth led the league in strike outs as well as in home runs. |
5. Get a clipboard and a pen, put on a nice shirt, and stand in front of Starbucks telling women that you're doing an article on "Pick Up Lines" or "Relationships." Have some dummy questions made up. Most of the women won't waste time on your survey, but you *will* snag a few and, after they've spent ten minutes hanging with you, |
6. 12-Step Meetings. People in recovery programs are all really horny cause they're not indulging in their vice of choice and need some kind of outlet. Stand outside a downtown AA meeting with a cup of coffee in hand and tell the first hot chick you see that her hair is messed up. She'll probably have low self-esteem, anyway, and fall in love with you instantly. You're set.
7. Act really busy. Sit at a bar and write furiously in a notebook. Try to look completely absorbed. Invariably, a woman at the bar will ask what you're writing. Look enigmatic and say "Oh...nothing....," then ask her if she's wearing underwear or not. You will come off as educated, mysterious, and suave. It's just a short jump from there to a wild night.
| 8. Scowl a lot when ever you run into a pretty girl. Most of them won't fall for this, but every once in a while you'll run into one who asks whether you're okay or not. When this happens, tell her you were fine until you saw her, then your whole life changed in a flash. Then ask her out to a movie. |
People in recovery programs are all really horny cause they're not indulging in their vice of choice |
9. Here's a low-risk pick-up maneuver that can really pay off in spades and spotlight your creative side. Find two pay phones next to each other. Write down the number for one of them and call it from the next one to make sure it works. Then, wait there, with a quarter at the ready, for the first attractive woman to use the next phone. While she's fumbling for change dial the number and hope that she picks it up. When she does say "Hey babe....I'm watching you....and I think I'm in *love*..." 9 times out of ten, she'll think you're the biggest pervert on the face of the earth and will probably hang up immediately. But, if you persevere, you'll get one who stays on the line, even if it's only to curse at you. THAT'S the time to make the big move, smile like Errol Flynn, step out from the adjacent booth, and ask her to coffee. If she's really incensed and violated by the phone call, a variation on this is to act innocent and to feign overhearing her as you leave your booth; ask her if she's okay, then empathize with her about the assholes who prey on people using pay phones.
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Posted By: Bob
I just say hi!
Posted By: Cunning-A-Linguist
Is your dad a baker?... Because
he sure made great buns.
Posted By: C-A-L
you: Have you ever kissed
a rabbit between the ears? Her: Ah... you: (pull your pockets inside out)
Would you like to?
Posted By: Cunning-A-L
Hey baby, want to go halves
on a basterd?
Posted By: Abe Froeman
You, me, behind the tree.
Now.
Posted By: Martara
Nice shoes. Wanna fuck?
Posted By: irving
Excuse me miss, are you from
another planet? "No, why?" Because your ass is out of this world!
Posted By: C-A-L
Hey, you want to get lucky?
Posted By: Saffron
raack raack! I'm a teradactyl.
Wanna fuck?
Posted By: Lou DAWG
Are those your tits are are
you having a bad reaction?
Posted By: mondo vomit
uh...
Posted By: C-A-L
Excuse me would you like
to dance, or should I go fuck myself again?....
Posted By: C-A-L
Honey, what does $8 million
matter when you've only got 3 months to live?
Posted By: Ann
hi and a cute smile always
works on me. But most recetnly I've heard, "You look like a character in
a Fellini movie." Wasn't sure if he meant the freaks, or the dark and sensuous
women. I took it as a compliment, but brushed him off anyway.
Posted By: agnes
This really happened. "God!
You really look a lot like my dead sister."
Posted By: Jaimie
"You wanna go get a pizza
and screw?" (then, assuming the target of your affections responds negatively)
"What's the matter, don't you like pizza?"
Posted By: Pablo
Now I know what brought the
sun out today? or Would you care to go to a cafe for a coffee? or I find
you very attractive and I would like to take you out?
Posted By: C-A-L
Look deep in her soul, grab
her hand and take her out and do some salsa while she struggles to keep
up... he, he. Wow, heaven.
Posted By: Drew
Nice shoes... Wanna fuck?
Posted By: Anthony Capone Hernandez
excuse me miss... but i believe
you have something that you might want to trade... she reply what would
that be, and i responde your number for a seven course meal cooked by me...
either she smiles... or say nice try....
Posted By: BIG
Do I look ugly or should
we go home to me!
Posted By: Rahul
Uhhhh..... (slightly hoarse),I,
uh.........(hoarser this time), repeat 8 times ... and then faint.
Posted By: Rahul
Uhhhh..... (slightly hoarse),I,
uh.........(hoarser this time), repeat 8 times ... and then faint.
Posted By: Rahul
Uhhhh..... (slightly hoarse),I,
uh.........(hoarser this time), repeat 8 times ... and then faint.
Posted By: Matthew
I've been trying #10 without
success for 9 months now. I spend all of my time alone, try to avoid contact
with any women I see, and have incessentaly repeated the "I am alone" mantra
to myself. Surprise--it's not yet working! Can anyone help?
Posted By: Mikee
I've got a gynaecology exam
tomorrow wanna come back and help me study?
Posted By: Stu
Hello... (English accent
never fails in some foreign countries) Variation on #10: Go out with absolutely
no intention of scoring, concentrate on having fun and enjoying the view.,
whilst being careful not to consume too much alcohol.
Posted By: cramos
I agree with n.10 just do
nothing technique. I just want to include something to that, don't forget,
don't brush your teeth and don't take showers, and always wear the same
thing, and make believe you don't give a shit about anything and are not
worried about what they think of you. Keep staring at their butts and chest
at all times, even when you're talking to them. Bitches dig that.
Posted By: Ilbed Da
Fuck me if I'm wrong, but
isn't your name Lisa
Posted By: Dan
"I lost my number. Can I
have yours?" "Can I borrow a quarter? My mom said to call her when I fall
in love."
Posted By: Oliver Clothesoff
"Your daddy must have been
a bricklayer because you sure have a fine foundation!"
Posted By: Justin Sideyou
Any of you sluts got names?
Posted By: Justin Sideyou
Approach a woman in a bar
late in the evening and say "Hey, I may not be all that, but i'm the only
guy talking to you."
Posted By: Ross
An oldie but a goodie...if
you're drunk and want to get slapped! "Is that a mirror in your pants?
I sure see myself in them! One tactic I agree with is: You ask a girl out,
at the end of the date you just say "good-bye" no talk of next time. If,
by chance, you see them out and about...ask them out, but at the end of
the date just say "good-bye" The theory on this is if you do this three
times, then by the end of the third date, you've got them wondering "what's
wrong with me..." and they're to know that you are, in fact, attracted
to them! So by this third date, it's clothes flying off and everything!
(this is tried and true!) But it does take a while...PATIENCE, young man...patience!
Posted By: Joe Camel
"Hi, I got a penis." ...
"You wanna touch it?"
Posted By: Apollonia
"That shirt is very becoming on you. But if I were on you, I'd be coming too!"
